Blog Award

Massive thanks to Pretty Young Thing for passing the following blog award on to me - I'm flattered! Check out her fabulous blog Daterview if you haven't already - great stories including making the most of being ill in hospital by chatting up a good-looking member of staff and subsequently Facebooking him! Plus she has one of the coolest blogger profile pictures I've seen - that's what I call eye-catching lipstick. Thank you for the award!
















This award doesn't come for free though - it comes with a ten-question survey as follows:


1. If you blog anonymously, are you happy about doing this? If you aren't anonymous, do you wish that you had started out anonymously, so you could be anonymous now?

I guess my blog is somewhat anonymous, but my name really is Matt and I really was born in 1979, so I'm not trying to disguise myself. If I were starting a blog now I might actually be less anonymous but I was in a different frame of mind last summer and I've just stuck with the habit since then.


2. Describe an incident that shows your stubborn side.

I have this thing about not wanting to let food go to waste and at times I've taken it too far. I remember one particular incident a few years back - I'd ordered way too much at a restaurant but carried on eating after hitting the point of being uncomfortably full for about half an hour. My insides took a while to forgive me for that one.


3.What do you see when you really look into the mirror?

Depends on the time of day - in the mornings I'm particularly likely to see someone with crazy hair, although this can happen at any time and lead me to wonder "Wow - when did I last look in the mirror before this?"


4. What is your favorite cold summer drink?

Water. I actually get told that I drink too much water. When I was in hospital last year I had this conversation with a doctor:

Me: How much water should I be drinking at the moment?
Doctor: As much as you want - it'll all help.
Me: OK, but I thought there might be like a maximum amount?
Doctor: No, go ahead and drink as much as you like.
Me: 'Cause like a few years ago I used to drink about six litres (13 US pints) per day and I just wondered-
Doctor: SIX LITRES? No, that's too much, you shouldn't do that.
Me (thinking): But you just said...


5. When you take time for yourself, what do you do?

In recent months one answer has to be: read blogs! I think we're talking many hundreds of hours by now. Also go to the gym, see friends, watch films, eat (see Q2), drink water (see Q4)...


6. Is there something you still want to accomplish in your life?

Generally I'm not someone who focuses a lot on future goals - I tend to think more about how I'd like to spend the present time.


7. When you attended school, were you the class clown, the overachiever, the shy person, or always ditching?

I was an academic overachiever but wasn't very involved in other school activities. Towards the end I started ditching more but to be honest I think they let me get away with it as long as my test scores stayed high.


8. If you closed your eyes and wanted to visualize a very poignant moment in your life, what would you see?

Some years ago I was in a car crash which for a moment I thought might be Game Over - I was incredibly lucky to walk away and in some ways I've looked at things differently ever since.


9. Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog, or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people and events?

I'm quite aware that I've only shared certain areas of my life on here - I started the blog to give back some dating stories after reading so many and I've mainly thought of the blog as being about dating rather than about me as a whole.


10. If you had a choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?

At the moment I don't spend much time doing either, but I guess I spend more time on the phone so I'll go with that.



The next instruction is to pass this award on to bloggers you think are fantastic. I've only just realised that it doesn't specifically say how many bloggers to nominate, but previous recipients seem to be going with three so I'll follow suit:


Lifebeginsat30ty at Life Begins at 30ty - she was also top of my shout-out list the first time I received a blog award - at that time, as well as having a very engaging past-present-shifting blog, she had very kindly commented on more than two-thirds of my posts. Her blog has remained awesome and, of course, the last few weeks have given me even more inclination to list her first again...

Caleb at The Blog Experiment - Caleb and I first met as Good Cop Bad Cop commenters on the blog which started my whole blogosphere journey. He's full of wit and charisma and brains too - watch out world!

Pupa at just like your mama used to make it - she has recently started her blog but got hooked on some of the same dating blogs as I did last year and has been inspired to write exactly the kind of blog which grabbed us both - lots of well-written online dating posts. Hopefully there are lots more to come!


I could happily nominate lots more great blogs, including the other nine from my first award - most are still going and I hope that the others are coming back too!

Tongue-tied

So, as some of you rightly noted when commenting on my previous post, I've been getting a bit tongue-tied on here recently. Successive posts have been growing shorter and less detailed. Not only that: I used to reply individually to every comment I received - I've really let things slide on that front!

There are two principal reasons for this. One I've already written about in an earlier post - I've become increasingly aware that writing in detail about present-day events involving other people (such as dates) wasn't going to work for me. I'm very much into honesty and I know that if I dated someone who then asked whether I had a blog, I would be straight with them, and they'd probably end up reading it. Therefore I wouldn't want to write anything which might seem like oversharing or an invasion of privacy - theirs or mine. I knew that I'd be likely to err on the side of caution in this regard, and sure enough I certainly have been!

I've very much enjoyed reading lots of dating blogs which don't follow these restrictions, so I hope this doesn't seem hypocritical of me. I'm not trying to say that there's anything wrong with anybody else's way of doing things - just that I have my own individual way of doing things and I need to honour that.

Secondly, and more to the point: my recent dates have of course been with someone who already reads my blog! In the beginning this was the whole point - Life Begins at 30ty and I went on a blogger-date and wrote about our experiences. But since then (as you'll know if you've read her recent post) we've continued to date each other. With each date I've realised more and more that I don't want to be blog-dating her - I want to be dating her. Thus I've been feeling more than a little self-conscious when writing recent posts.

While I was mulling these things over, she wrote a post expressing somewhat similar thoughts but in a far more eloquent way than I feel I'm managing - well, she was already one of my favourite bloggers after all! She also mentioned our pub quiz date (I had an unfair advantage with the numerous British sports questions, but she still knew more about Queen Victoria than me!) and our restaurant-and-river-walk date (complete with photo featuring the free light sabres which the restaurant kindly gave us!) and that we'd made plans to go to the cinema this weekend (I can exclusively reveal that we settled on watching just one film rather than trying to surpass my day record of eight!)

Hmm... I'm getting blogger's block again while trying to write the end of a post on blogger's block! Well, I wanted to say thanks again to you all for your encouraging and enthusiastic comments despite my lack of post details and comment replies - I really do appreciate them!

Blogger Date: The Sequel

For our second date, Life Begins at 30ty and I had decided to go bowling. This had actually been one of her suggestions for our challenge-theme first date, but I'd felt it only fair to warn her that I was on a bowling team a few years ago. Not one to be daunted by this - or by anything else these days! - she stepped up to take me on this time.

...and proceeded to soundly beat me! I got my comeuppance for my big talking! She even had the kindness to make me feel knowledgeable by asking me for bowling tips, even though at that point I was clearly struggling to stay out of the gutters. She's a good winner and I got to show that I wasn't a bad loser - or I hope that's what I showed! We then had a second game in which I managed to redeem myself a little, so we called it a draw (tie?) overall.

After finishing our drinks while watching little kids almost throwing themselves down the lanes with their bowling balls, we left to find something to eat. We went to a great pancake place which I'd never been to before - in fact I've generally only eaten small sweet pancakes so it was interesting to be presented with a massive savoury one big enough to be a meal in itself! We chatted and ate and chatted.

At this point I have to make a complaint about this date. In fact, about both of our dates. The time goes by way too quickly! I couldn't believe that more than three hours had already flashed past when I first looked at the clock on my phone. I don't think either of us wanted our talking to end but we both understood that we had work weeks to start the next morning so eventually we got the bill (maybe the staff didn't want us to go either!) and the end of the date was nigh.

Hmm, I'm reading back over this post and it seems rather brief. Blog readers, I'll level with you: I'm finding blog date blogging to be trickier than I'd anticipated! Maybe this is because I'm more accustomed to writing about dates from many years ago rather than current events. Maybe it's because I don't want to hog the storytelling while my co-dater has other exciting tales to share from earlier in her weekend before getting the chance to write her version. Or maybe it's because my main thought as I write this is: I definitely want to see her again...

Blogger Date: Part 2-and-a-bit

Depending on whether you read much of my previous post without giving up in disgust, you'll know either that I turned out to be a double-booking blog-date traitor, or that I actually had an enjoyably long evening with Life Begins at 30ty and was granted a time extension by a bus driver with a penchant for the accelerator pedal.

Only a brief time extension though: the schedule predicted that another bus would arrive in ten minutes so we stayed at the bus stop chatting some more. Sure enough it soon swung into view and it was time to say goodnight.

After watching her board a near-empty bus I walked around the corner to my bus stop and was somewhat surprised to find that it was swamped by a throng of desperate would-be passengers. My bus arrived soon after and I joined in the scrum for the door. Somewhere behind me a guy was shouting "Oi, get over here, we're gonna miss the bus - don't you walk away from me!" and several of us turned expecting to see a drunken couple arguing, but it turned out that he was talking to his dog. He then appeared next to me and said something incoherent to the woman in front of me, then randomly asked me if she was my "bird." I shook my head and looked bemused.

I squeezed onto the packed bus as our obligatory eccentric night bus companion hoisted his dog onto the luggage rack. This achievement seemed to settle them both down and the bus eventually crawled away from the stop and set off on its route. It wasn't the smoothest of journeys, but I didn't mind because I was smiling about the evening I'd had.

So, will there be any further updates? Hopefully you've all read Life Begins at 30ty's latest post on our date, in which case you'll know this already: yes, we do have plans to meet up again (and no, I won't be double-booking the date!)

Confession Time

After an amusing mix-up at the start followed by enjoyable chatting, my evening with Life Begins at 30ty seemed like it might be reaching a natural end point. Our conversation was dwindling a little and this may have been mainly down to me. You see, I have a confession to make: I already knew that I couldn't stay for too long, because this was not to be my only date of the evening.

I thought that all had gone quiet on the speed dating front, but a few days ago I'd heard back from someone I'd liked at the New Year's Eve party and she wanted to meet up again. By unfortunate coincidence, her only free night to meet in the next couple of weeks was this past Friday. I'd already agreed my date with Life Begins at 30ty so it felt too late to rearrange it, but my speed date wanted to meet at 10pm anyway so I agreed. I hadn't counted on the delayed start to my blogger date, leaving me with less time, but I had no choice - I mentioned being tired and said a rather hurried goodbye, then rushed out to look for a cab.

Just kidding! I'd probably be barred from this corner of the blogosphere had I done that, and rightly so! I've never double-booked a date and I certainly wasn't about to start with our esteemed blog friend. It's true that our time in that bar came to an end at that point, but only because we decided to head out in search of a quieter place to talk.

We walked past several bars, each seemingly more busy and noisy than the last. Then good news: she asked if I was hungry. Now, I like eating whether I'm hungry or not, so this was a winning suggestion with me! I knew of a restaurant half a mile away so we walked there, only to find that it was just closing. I made another restaurant suggestion and on we went - I'm glad she'd mentioned to me that she likes walking through London!

The second restaurant was open and not busy, so chatting was much nicer as we ordered and ate our food. We had plenty more to find out about each other and I was enjoying doing so, which meant that the time went flying by again. By the time we'd finished our food and were preparing to leave I realised that we'd missed our last trains for the evening.

She again seemed undaunted by this and whipped out her phone to check out the night buses. She seems well on the road to being fear-free! Once she'd got her plans I walked her to her bus stop. As we approached the stop, her bus was already there. I jogged ahead to keep the bus from leaving, then we had a rushed goodbye as it waited. But just as we turned for her to get on the bus, it pulled away and took off. Evidently the driver decided that our evening was not to end just yet...

Blogger Date: Part 1

I arrived slightly early at the bar for my date with Life Begins at 30ty. I had the impression that she might be a punctual person too and I briefly wondered whether she might even have beaten me there, but I could see no sign of her in the place. I was quite happy to be first there and also relieved that the bar wasn't as busy as I'd feared - I gladly grabbed a table just as two people left and I waited.

After maybe ten minutes I checked the time on my phone. Damn - missed a text from her. When my phone's in my pocket it's too quiet to hear and the vibrate facility is too weak to feel - I should know this by now! I assumed that she might have been delayed, but her text said that she'd arrived early too and was outside. Er... I can't see anyone outside through the windows. I got up and went to double-check (instantly losing the table to some eager bystanders) - nobody outside! Is she now inside looking for me? Had I somehow not seen her come in? I went back to stand at the bar and texted her back. Her reply confirmed what I was beginning to fear - we're at different bars! I thought this only happened in movies!

I started to text back and was promptly thrown another banana skin by my phone - if someone calls while I'm writing a text it instantly picks up but won't let me see who's calling. Great, I'm going to sound like a weirdo when I have to double-check that it's her! Luckily I had confirmation from her American accent, which of course I'd known to expect, but of course I've been reading her blog with my own inner monologue so it was still a bit disconcerting!

I offered to come to her bar but she wanted to come to mine and sounded very relaxed about the whole thing, which was good to hear. I waited inside looking out for a free table (but the place was filling up now) and presently she walked in. She looked just like her photos, which meant that she looked great, but in my rush to beat the crowds I neglected to tell her so and instead went straight into buying-drinks mode. We started to chat at the bar but the place was getting so busy that a guy was leaning between us ordering drinks! I glanced around in faint hope of a free table and miraculously there suddenly was one in the corner, so we quickly grabbed it.

At first we talked about blogging as I tried to make the connection that the person across from me was the writer of one of my most-read blogs. Then as we started to find out more about the unknown parts of each other's lives (jobs, growing up, other parts of our life histories) it was easy to lose sight of that fact, until once of us would mentioned something that a first date would never normally know and there'd be a moment of shock for the other - how do they know that? - and the memory kicked back in. A strange mix of not knowing someone and yet knowing them at the same time, of being on a date but also catching up with a seldom-seen friend.

From my point of view the time whizzed by as we chatted, but the bar was refusing to conform to my hope that the post-work drinkers would gradually empty out. Instead it seemed to get busier and louder. I was starting to find it more difficult to hear what she was saying and it felt like our chatting might be drawing to a close...

A Date With A Difference

Exciting news: I have a date with someone I met online! This is made even more exciting by the fact that I haven't even signed up to an online dating site yet! Instead, depending on your perspective, I've taken a leap into the unknown, embraced the spirit of new challenges - or crossed a line into forbidden territory... I've asked out another blogger.

The adventurous and brave Life Begins at 30ty made a New Year's resolution to face down her dating fears, beginning by Facebooking her neighbouring admirer from a recent flight. Being the enterprising go-getter that she is, she stormed to victory on that mission in less than a week and promptly set the next stage in motion - drawing up a list of ten dating challenges in ascending order of scariness.

She even went so far as to invite her readers to suggest what her challenges might be, and one particular reader (who I did not bribe - that's my story and I'm sticking to it!) suggested that she date another blogger and then both write about the experience. I must admit that as soon as I read that comment I started to ask myself: if she picked that item for the list, would I have the guts to volunteer? I liked to think so, but often it's easy to tell yourself these things if you don't have to test them out!

When the list was published I saw no sign of that item at first as I made my way through, but suddenly there it was at number 8 - bravery-testing time! After some thinking and then some psyching-myself-up I typed in a comment asking her out on a date. Sometimes after writing comments I come away with a good feeling about what I've written and other times I start to second-guess myself - I'm happy to report that this occasion was one of the former type.

I had good cause to be hopeful about the response which I might receive: item 3 on her list states that she must say yes to anyone who asks her out! However, I wouldn't want to give the impression that I only volunteered for the hell of it, or because my chances of a positive answer were good. Far from it...