Thursday, 5 August 2010

Pretty Lady

So... back to the drawing board again. Where would my next date come from? I considered taking out another personal ad but decided against it with my low response to the last one in mind. Instead I tried replying to a few. I heard back from one woman whose ad had been entitled "Pretty Lady" - brief and to the point! We arranged to meet at a bar after work one evening.

I arrived at the bar first and grabbed a free table. A few minutes after our arranged meeting time I received a text from her: "I'm outside the bar, wearing a red top. Come outside." I liked its confident tone and I did as instructed.

Her advert title hadn't been false advertising - she was very pretty. I'm sad to report that the thoughts going through my head were along the lines of "She's out of my league... Just a fool to believe I have anything she needs... She's like the wind..." I was intimidated by her good looks, feeling that I didn't measure up. I tried to tell myself that attractiveness is subjective but I didn't really convince myself!

She wanted to go to a different bar instead and I complied. Once we were sat with drinks our chatting went through the usual basics of getting to know each other's pasts and presents and then started to stall through lack of common interests. I could tell that she was getting bored, especially as she started using her mobile phone at one point - not a good sign! But I continued to try to find a way to connect with her. I was aware that I was being quite shallow - here I was finding little in common and seeing my date more interested in her phone than in me at times but still persevering. Would I have acted the same had I not found her so good looking? I thought I probably knew the answer but wasn't comfortable with what it meant.

Soon after this she indicated that it was time for her to head off anyway. I walked her to the station and we went our separate ways. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be seeing her again but despite this I can remember feeling quite elated at having been on a date with a beautiful woman even if she hadn't been all that taken with me. Looking back I feel sad that I was seemingly so superficial at that time, but my memory reminds me that I was.

Of course, when I texted her the next day I suggested meeting up again. Her inevitable declining was concise but gentle - something like "We weren't really a match, don't you think?" She did have a point there. I wished her well and that was that. Hello drawing board my old friend, I've come to talk with you again...


  1. Well, I think she was rude to use her phone on the date. Even if you're not interested, there are basic politeness rules that one follows. I understand the whole putting up with someone's behavior and trying harder because they're good looking. I do that too- we all do. But we really shouldn't. That's how good looking rude people stay rude. Boo that.

  2. Sounds like a lot of dates I've had: just no fizzle. It sounds like you both handled it well and were polite. I wish everyone could be that way!

  3. yup. using the phone during a date is bad manners. but i've been guilty of it :p i apologised though..

    it is good when both parties are in agreement on how the date went. my experiences in this regard have been far from pretty. gotten some nasty responses when i was less than enthusiastic about meeting again. you both handled it so very maturely :)

  4. Larissa: you're right that putting up with it wasn't a good idea and it probably didn't help my chances anyway - made it more obvious that I was a bit desperate!

    Lifebeginsat30ty: I've had a lot of no-fizzle dates too - I'm realising that my blog is beginning to be a testament to this!

    little miss angry: Sorry to hear about your experiences. It's sad when people do that - if someone's letting you know that they're not feeling that way about you, what's there to gain from trying to talk them round or make them feel bad? I certainly never wanted to be that guy!